The CSM before me, Jessica, was a really sweet girl, and to be honest, seeing her stress out about her job had me stressed out. When she told me she was moving, I knew I would be asked to replace her. Sure enough, I was. I was really excited at first. My boss asked me if I wanted the position and I was like HECK yes. But then I started watching Jessica to see how things went for her, and it scared me. She hated her job. The week she left I was feeling the pressure to make a decision. On Monday night I was sick to my stomach thinking about it, and I had a hard time falling asleep. When I finally went to sleep, I was dreaming about how stressed out I was. I was seriously considering turning the job down.
The next morning I went to work 20 minutes early to talk to my boss about it. First of all, my boss is incredibly intimidating. He is scary to a lot of us who work at HL. I get along with him well, but it was still a little scary to talk to him about it. I am so afraid of letting people down. Anyway, I built up the courage to go talk to him and I told him about how stressed I was and I started CRYING to him about it. I'm sure he thought I was crazy. He was completely understanding though. He told me not to worry about it, and that I didn't HAVE to take the job now, or ever. He talked me down, and I decided to give it more thought.
I was off and on about the whole thing for days, but finally I decided that I would take it. It's a $4 pay raise with benefits. Plus, I'm not the same person as Jess, and even though she hated her job, doesn't mean I would too. So I'm giving it a shot.
I'm pretty excited. I even went out and bought some more professional styled clothes. lol
So far I've been CSM for 3 days, and so far so good. I'm kinda liking it! I'm sure I'll enjoy the paycheck I get next week, as well. lol. We'll see how things go in the next couple of weeks. I may not have the same attitude around Christmas time. :)
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